London Calling...Just Let It Go To Voice Mail

Tonight millions of people will be watching the opening ceremony of the 2012 London Olympics. I'll be watching them too. Every two years, I get into the Olympics like everyone else. First of all I think it's fun to root for team USA. Second, the Olympics are a chance to see those obscure sports that don't get a lot of media attention, and I like that. I'm not one of those people who sits around watching ESPN 24/7. That would drive me insane. I'm also not one of those people that doesn't watch any sports. In fact, I can watch pretty much any sport as long as I have someone to root for (golf is the exception, because it is boring and there is no entertainment value there at all). Overall, I'm pretty excited for the Olympics to start.

What I'm not so excited about is the hosting city. London? I mean really, London? So far there has been some criticism of London in regards to safety and the overall aesthetic of the location, and I would say it's pretty warranted criticism. Whenever I think of London hosting the Olympics my mind flashes to this...

But hey, it can't all be bad. I mean I'm sure they'll have nice facilities, and some state of the art equipment for the athletes to work with. Oh and you can't forget the mascots right. I mean those things will probably be cute or look really cool...

Wait, what the crap are those? If your goal is to scare little children into not watching the Olympics this year, you have definitely succeeded London. Sometimes the mascots convey a message about the home city, and from the look of these mascots, that message is, "Big Brother is watching you!"

Here is a list of things that I expect (but don't want to) see during the opening ceremony:

• Shakespeare quotes
• Paul McCartney
• The phrase "London Calling"
• English Royalty
• Elton John
• A reference to Big Ben
• A crazy sense of what "art" is.

Despite the fact that I'm not so thrilled about the host city, I really do plan to have a good time rooting on team USA for the next couple of weeks.